Hip Teacher Interview with Allison Beckering...

1. You’re engaged! When and where will you be married?  We are planning to tie the knot in February of ’09… in the Bahamas! I can’t wait!

2. How do you enjoy spending time with your fiance?  We love to travel, cook together, and hang out with our family and friends. We like to play games like scrabble, backgammon, and jeopardy.

3. How long have you been teaching? What grade?  I have been teaching since 2001. I am currently teaching sixth grade in a Spanish Immersion School. I have taught preschool, high school, and pretty much everything in between!

4. What is the best way for parents to help in the classroom?  Parents can let teachers know what they would like to do and how often they can volunteer. Some of my parent volunteers come as often as twice a week, while others come twice a year. No matter how often they are able to help, it is a great way for them to stay connected to their children’s school community. I prefer when parents suggest how they would like to use their talents in my classroom. For example, one mom was really into photography, and she took on that role for the year. It was terrific! Another parent clipped interesting magazine and newspaper articles and eventually started a current events board for us.

5. What advice can you give to parents about how to help their children succeed in school?  Consistency is key. Those that are there on time every day tend to be successful. The students that are prepared and filled with energy get a lot more out of the lessons. I notice that students with tons of extra curricular activities can get overwhelmed and tired.

6. What is the best way for parents to communicate with teachers?  I would suggest that parents make an effort to read school newsletters and check the class websites to stay informed. In my opinion it’s best to call and make an appointment if you have any questions or concerns. Emails can be easily misinterpreted. I know it is easy and quick, but it is overused.

It is also helpful to drop off an encouraging note every once in a while. Several moms do that in my class and it gets my day off to a great start! It is very motivating, whereas negative communication can potentially interfere with a teacher’s instruction. Establishing positive communication will pay off and it is good modeling for your kids.

7. What is your favorite vacation spot?  We got engaged in Thailand and it was beautiful there! I also love going to places where I can practice Spanish.

8. Who is your favorite movie or TV star?  I really like Pam on The Office.

9. How about your favorite movie?  Project X, Little Women

10.What are three to five books that you’ll always keep on your shelf?  The Bible, Love and Logic by Jim Faye, 1000 Places To See Before You Die, and lately I have been interested in historical fiction books

11.What about favorite children’s books? Best books for the age you teach?  My favorite children’s book is Oh The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss. I always read that to my class on the first day of school. For the age I teach, I like series books because they keep kids reading.

12. How do you spend your days?  Weekdays – working and mostly at home, Weekends – with people, doing outdoor activities

13. What’s a job you think you might have enjoyed doing, if you had pursued a different path? Why?  I can’t imagine changing careers (I love my students and having summers off!), but I think I would have enjoyed journalism because I like to write. Of course I would love to be a “hip mom” like all of you some day!

14. What do you feel truly passionate about in life?  Church, Teaching, and Language Acquisition

13. PC or Mac Lover?  I would like to try a mac

Prairie-style nightgowns?

For Mother's Day this year, I am afraid I came awfully close to "Five things you should never buy as a Mother's Day gift."  No, I didn't go with Prairie-style pajamas or lotions, thank goodness it hasn't come to that.  And while it's true that I didn't give my mom a kitchen appliance or a vacuum, I'm afraid the genre of my gift isn't that far off.

This year, I didn't give my mom something that looks pretty. 

I didn't give her something that smells good.  

And I definitely didn't give her something tasty.

This year, I gave her a gift that will help her see my kids more often, 

since she lives 700 miles away.  

And even though it's not pretty, aromatic, or tasty, 

you can't get this from flowers, perfume, or chocolate:

I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day.  And I hope mine 

likes her new webcam!

A Sure Sign of Spring

After a long, cold, winter, spring is finally knocking on our door. Even though it's still chilly, my younger two boys couldn't wait to celebrate.

Just a toe...

A little bit braver...

Full on fun...

...popsicles, and all!

Sort of makes you want to join right in, doesn't it?

-Kirsetin

The Animal Game

I absolutely love life with a 5-year old. Here’s a snippet:

E: Do you want to play the animal game?
Me: Okay, sure.
E: I have an animal. You guess.
Me: Okay, does it live in the forest?
E: Nope.
Me: Does it live in the ocean?
E: No. But it lives a lot of different places.
Me: Can it fly?
E: No, it can’t fly.
Me: Does it have four legs.
E: Yes. Four legs, I think, or maybe two.
Me: Does it have wings?
E: Uhhh, then it could fly. It can’t fly.
Me: Oh, right. Is it smaller than Tucker (our lab)?
E: Oh, yes, waaaay smaller.
Me: Is it brown?
E: No, it’s gray.
Me: Can it hop?
E: Yes, it can hop. Also, it’s really, really fast.
Me: Is it a grasshopper?
E: No, smaller.
Me: Is it a cricket?
E: No, smaller.
Me: Ummm, I don’t know. Can I have a hint?
E: It likes cheese.
Me: It can hop, it’s smaller than a cricket, and it likes cheese? Is it a mouse?
E: Yep! You got it!

This is so different from conversations with my eleven and eight-year olds. Over dinner recently, my eleven-year old was complaining about my censorship of the music he downloads on his iPod. We were discussing one popular song in particular:

M: But, mom, everyone has that song except for me.
Me: I understand that the song has a fun beat. Even I like the beat. But do you know what that song is about?
M: What?
Me: It’s about paying a prostitute.
M: What’s that?
Me: It’s a woman that you pay to have sex with you.
C – the 8-year old, who I have forgotten is sitting beside me: Oh, yeah, what IS that, mom?
Me: (Uh-oh; even M realizes my mistake; all eyes are now on me) Ummm, oohhhh, um, Chase, that is something that dad will, ummm, talk to you about later. But right now, boys, we’re talking about music. Can we just talk about the lyrics right now?

See why I love the animal game?

Laughter is, indeed, the best medicine

It's finally sunny! And anyone who waits this long for sunshine (and is still waiting for warmth) deserves a good laugh. A friend of mine shared this with me (on my new Facebook account). Thought you might enjoy it, too.

I Wish I Would Have Known...

Before I had kids, I read every book about birth and parenting I could get my hands on.  I knew that I would be tired, that life would never be the same, and that having a baby would change our family dynamic in an unalterable way. 

I knew these things, but I didn’t really know them.

I knew, for example, that I’d be tired but I didn’t know how hard being utterly exhausted would be.  When my first baby was new, I remember desperately wanting a little more sleep, and feeling incredibly, unforgivably selfish because of it.  I wish that someone had told me I might feel this way, and that it was okay.

I also knew that life would never be the same, but I had no idea what “not really the same” meant.  I didn’t understand that my world would shift so completely from a self-centered focus to a what’s-best-for-my-child focus.  I wish that someone would have shared that at times that shift would seem completely logical, and at others, it would be incredible difficult.

I knew that babies cry and toddlers throw tantrums and five-year olds test independence.  But I didn’t know that I’d be really good at handling some of these, and not so good at others.  I wish someone had told me that every phase is only that: a phase that will pass before you know it.

I knew that there would be more laundry.  And there is.

Everyone did tell me, of course, that time would fly.  But in the midst of diapers and baby food, I couldn’t really comprehend it.  Now there are no more diapers and no more high chairs.  Those cute overalls have been replaced by Hollister t-shirts and ripped up jeans.  I feel like the film is on fast-forward, and sometimes I can’t find the pause button.  I hope someone will help me figure out where it is.

-Kirsetin

Kirsetin wrote this post to participate in the Blog Blast on the Blog Exchange, which is sponsored this week by Discovery Health and their new series "Deliver Me."  

Brave New World

So…..Facebook.  The thing we all know about the Internet, as parents, is that anybody can post anything and just about anybody else can read it.  This is the part our kids don’t always get:  what part of world wide web is it that don’t they understand?  Partly because they’ve grown up being supremely comfortable with technology, it’s easy for our kids to look at Facebook as their own private online corner of the world.  But it’s not.  Private should never even be uttered in the same breath as Facebook.  And even if you don’t want your kids out there, please realize that even the most sheltered kids can usually get access, whether it’s at the library or their friends’ homes.  The Scouts and the Coast Guard have it right:  Be Prepared and Always Ready.

In an effort to be both prepared and ready for my children’s eventual enrollment on Facebook, I talked to moms whose kids are already out there.  Here’s what they had to say:

• Consider setting your child’s account up using their middle name as their last name.  Their friends will know how to find them (trust me!), but it will be harder for a stranger to track them down. 

• Use the privacy settings to ensure that only their approved “friends” can see beyond a brief bio.

• Use the privacy settings, but don’t stop there.  Be aware of what your child is writing, to whom, and vice versa.

• Get your own account and have your child accept you as a “friend.”  Bummer for them, yes.  Will they resist?  Probably.  Do they want to be on Facebook?  Play the parent card:  you need to know what’s going on.

• Kids want to collect friends, which is one of the reasons you have to know what’s happening.  Who are all these friends?  (They’re really friends of friends, which can mean total strangers.)  I have 10 friends on Facebook, which is completely unacceptable for anyone under the age of 30.  (Please note: I’m no longer in that unique group.)  When I checked the Facebook accounts of two of my high school babysitters (and yes, you can do this!), they both had about 500 friends.  They are mocking me and my 10, I’m sure.

• Watch out for random photos.  Two of my friends have high-school aged kids, whose older cousins are in college.  The fun-loving cousins frequently post photos of their fun-loving college escapades to their Facebook accounts.  The cousins are, of course, Facebook friends with the high-school girls.  Enough said?  What kind of photos would you have posted in college?

• Know your kids’ passwords.  Another bummer, I know, but don’t abuse it and it doesn’t have to be.  There's no need to comment when your son gets four messages on his wall from four different girls.  But if there’s something more going on, then it’s a bummer for everyone and you need to know about it.

• Check your kids’ Facebook e-mails.  Many older kids don’t even use regular e-mail anymore.  Once they get connected with all of their friends on Facebook, they just communicate there.  Also, be aware that it’s possible to check your kids’ e-mails and then mark them as unread.  It’s sneaky, I know.  Again, you don’t want abuse it, but it’s good to check in from time to time.  If it’s all minor, no harm, no foul.  If it’s major, looking at their e-mail won’t really matter.  They’ll have much bigger issues to worry about.

• Talk to your child about whether they really want to use the “Top Friends” feature.  It’s extremely popular, but there's a bit of a mean streak in it.  Think back to the cliques and pain of middle school and high school.  Think back to just trying to fit in.  Now think about what it would be like if everyone you know is out there on Facebook, and all of the “cool” kids are listed on GQ Athlete’s Facebook “Top Friends,” except for you.  Ouch.  I’m also told that kids use this feature as a sort of bribe, as in, “Well, if you don’t do x, I’m going to take you off of my ‘Top Friends’.”  Nice, isn’t it? 

It’s a Brave New World out there, moms. 

The Writing Is On the Wall

So now I have a Facebook account.  This seems strange, odd, really odd, like it’s something I would have done in high school, but is just beyond me now. Yet two of my friends – one a slight bit older and one a slight bit younger – have assured me that this is a thing I need to do. “The day is coming,” they both warned, “that you will need an account.  Your kids will be out there.  You want to be out there and you have to be ready.”

This, too, I struggle with.  Not that my kids will be “out there,” necessarily, but what being out there means.  Another step.   Another step towards peers.  Another step away from family.  Let me just confess right now–if your incredible intuitive skills haven’t already pegged it–that this whole kid-growing up, mom-letting-go thing is not going well for me.  It is far harder than I imagined and happening far sooner than I expected. But here we are, with time moving swiftly and me treading water, wondering how we got here so fast.  I am intensely aware that I sound like a tired cliché, but I could swear that we were just reading The Magic Tree House series.  Okay, sure, we moved on to Harry and Ron and Hermoine, but Facebook? How can it be?  No matter; time keeps moving and so here we are.  But, I digress.

Here’s what’s even stranger than the fact that I have joined the thousands in this weirdly-intimate-at-arms-length online community:  there’s a good chance that many of you, my friends, are among those thousands.  You are poking and writing on people’s walls and all sorts of other things none of us ever heard of back when fraternities still had taps in the basement.  You’ve just never mentioned it, and why would you?  What on earth am I going to write on your wall?

As surprised as I am to find that Facebook is not only for tween and teens and young bucks who think they’re all grown-up but really aren’t (otherwise why would they post that completely inebriated photo?), I’m not at all surprised that we are all drawn to this new type of communication.  We’re at an interesting juncture in history, I think, where it’s becoming easier and easier to communicate:  in an instant we can shoot someone a message, send them a text, or collect “top friends” by the dozens.  At the same time, it’s getting harder and harder to forge real relationships, based on depth and trust and shared actual (vs. virtual) experiences.  It will be interesting to see where this takes us, and our kids, don’t you think?

-Kirsetin

The Power of Lust

Last April, at a writers’ conference in NYC, I met Ruth Houston, author of this book. She wore a button with the title, which made me laugh. “Creative”, I thought, “What a catchy, clever title.” A little later while we were chatting during a break, I asked the author how she came up with the idea. You guessed it: personal experience.

I didn’t envy her creativity so much then, although I certainly admired her gumption. Her ability to turn such a personal tragedy into meaningful work for herself and counsel for others kept me thinking. “What must it be like,” I wondered, “to end everything you’ve known to be true?” It must be absolutely horrible. I’d never even met her ex-husband, but already I didn’t like him.

More recently, a girlfriend and I were having one of those lovely heart-to-heart discussions, and the topic turned to extra-marital affairs. We got started down this conversational path because of a talk our pastor gave at church about self-control. He made the very real point that behavior prior to marriage matters–in part–because saying “I do” doesn’t flip some magical behavior-modification switch. In other words, if you practiced “free-love” before marriage, you may be in for a bit of a rough marital road the next time that particular carrot is dangled. At any rate, we both agreed that, for us–and I am not suggesting this feeling is universal–a switch did, indeed, flip when we married. Not that either of us were out there promoting free love beforehand, but let’s just say we certainly weren’t Amish. However, neither of us has ever even considered anything nearly as sleazy as the soon-to-be former Governor of NY.

As a wife, I can’t help but empathize with his. As a daughter I am horrified for the Spitzer girls. I look at Silda Wall Spitzer and wonder, “Eliot, what were you thinking?” All the perks of privilege were his: a swanky apartment in NYC, private school for his girls, a talented, beautiful wife and a boatload of money. It’s never enough, is it guys?

On some level, he must have known it would come to this. How could he do it, I wonder, and I am not alone in my wondering. Wives across the country, and probably the world, are peering into this egregious betrayal and asking themselves, “How could he so completely disregard and disrespect this woman he’s called wife for 21 years?”

And what about us? What about the rest of the wives out here, doing our best to make marriage work, to parent well, and to fulfill our purpose in life? When we peek into the life of this privileged couple, we’re often prompted to reflect back on our own—and sometimes we sheepishly wonder if this could ever happen to us. I want to say, “No, of course not. This will never happen to you or to me.” But it does. In almost sixteen years of marriage I’ve watched it happen to friend after friend after friend and it breaks my heart every time.

When I met Ruth Houston at that writers’ conference last year, I laughed at the title of her book. But I’m not really laughing now. I’m sad, I’m incredibly, sorrowfully sad, that women across the world look at Silda Wall Spitzer – as we looked at Hillary Rodham Clinton only a few years ago – and wonder if our marriage will be next.

-Kirsetin

Old-Fashioned Fun

When I was a girl, I used to spend a couple of weeks each summer with my grandparents. Most mornings, after making me breakfast, my grandmother sent me outside to play while she began her daily chores. It seemed like she was forever folding laundry and vacuuming her living room floor. There weren’t many other children in the village where she lived, so I spent long hours figuring out how to amuse myself. One of my favorite activities, on a hot summer afternoon, was to gather my books from the library and read in the shade beneath the giant oak tree at the entrance to her neighborhood. I loved to watch the cars go by; I remember wondering who all of those people were and where they were all going. Did they wonder about me, too? Thirty years later those memories are strong: I can still feel the cool grass under my bare little legs and see the sun peeking through the thick leaves above.

By the time my children came along, kids’ summers were filled with camps of every sort. Basketball camp, swim club camp, any-activity-you-can-name camp. What startled me about all of these choices wasn’t really that they existed, but how many children were enrolled in them from the youngest of ages. At first I resisted the peer pressure, partly because in addition to my three-year old, I also had an infant; partly because these camps cost a lot of money; and partly because it just didn’t seem right to book my three-year old son’s summer chock full of organized activities. Didn’t he get enough of that during the pre-school year?

But slowly, and surely, I started down the slippery slope of enrollment. “Oh, what’s one little camp,” I thought. “His friends are all doing it; he’ll love it.” And he did. But one camp turned to two, then two kids turned to three, and before I knew what hit me I found myself living out of a mini-van and shuttling three boys from ocean camp to soccer camp to crime-science investigation camp. A mini-van was most definitely not where I wanted to spend my summer.

And so I decided: our summers will be different. They will be slow. My children will be bored. They will have to learn to play b-o-r-e-d games with one another, even though the youngest can’t add yet and the oldest insists on proper rules. And I will have to practice patience, again and again, while explaining once more why they aren’t enrolled in the Greatest Camps on Earth. But the trade-off is that they get to enjoy summers like I did: figuring out fun for themselves. They get to take long walks in the woods, check out hundreds of books from the library, and gorge themselves on s’mores roasted over the firepit during our summertime outside movie extravaganza.

And I, most thankfully, do not have to spend my summer in a mini-van.

-Kirsetin

Kirsetin wrote this post to participate in the Blog Blast on the Blog Exchange. Highlights Magazine, which was also around when she was a kid (and is a magazine her kids love), is coming out with a new publication for kids from ages 2 - 6, High Five: check it out here.

The Good Old Days

When my children were younger and I was knee deep in laundry (all those baby clothes!), I envied the mothers of older children whose days and nights weren’t filled with Cheerios and puzzles and Barney (oh yes, this was a few years back). When these mothers of older children said, “Oh, it gets harder, just you wait and see,” I thought they were full of it, or had had really easy babies, or were just lame. Harder? How can it possibly be harder than pretending to have endless patience while changing eight diapers every couple of hours in a sleep-deprived stupor. No way.

Well, way. Yep, sorry to say, those mothers were right. Oh, sure, I get a little more sleep now – lots more, actually. But I know that it’s a temporary luxury, which will come to a screeching halt in a few years when my boys hit high school. And, it’s also true that I don’t have to feed anyone from a spoon or help anyone in the bathroom anymore. There are also several hours in a day when my kids are at school, when, theoretically, I should have time to myself. But because I must be an “involved” parent, instead of relaxing at home with a great book, you will usually find me at a PTO meeting, or in computer class, or even running the class Valentine’s Day party, which is definitely not my forte.

But what those mothers knew, that I was simply in denial about, was this: when your kids get bigger, so do their problems. When my boys were three, “bully” was just some word in a book, an idea to talk about, not some actual kid on the playground who I want to string up by his toes and interrogate. When my boys were three, the pre-puberty hormones hadn’t kicked in, which – as far as I can tell – is the boy equivalent of that time of the month, except it lasts for about a year. Big fun, let me tell you. And when my boys were three, I didn’t worry at all whether we were making the right choices for his future. I mean, at three, they just want you to be with them. Isn’t that great?

I mean, I really miss those toddler years, even the baby laundry.

-Kirsetin

Food or Non-Food?

The last week of January, 2007, my husband brought home an article from the New York Times, plunked it down in front of me, and urged me to “Read this.” The article was called “Unhappy Meals,” by Michael Pollen, and in it, Mr. Pollen made a brilliant argument for avoiding processed “non-foods.” “Non-foods” are basically all of the many, many things we eat, often with tremendous health claims, that are extremely far from any kind of food found in nature. He makes a suggestion that sounds fairly easy and common-sensical but, in retrospect, is quite difficult to practice: Don’t eat anything your great-great grandmother wouldn’t recognize. (Go-gurt?) His arguments and ideas stuck with me and when I saw his book, a much-expanded version of the article called In Defense of Food, I promptly purchased it. I bought it, read it, and am now thoroughly depressed about the state of food in America, in my grocery store, and in my cupboard.

So first of all, I recommend this book. Just go out & buy it. Hands-down, you’ve got to read it – even if, in the end, you somehow disagree with him, it is absolutely worth the time and energy just to get yourself thinking about these things.

Second, I have decided to try to follow many of his recommendations, and by FAR the most difficult idea is avoiding the middle of the grocery store – you know, the cracker-chip-snack area. I mean, what else will I feed my kids when they arrive home from school. No goldfish? Come on! How will I entice the other children to play here without Doritos and Oreos? Do they really want to eat organic yogurt? (The answer, we’ve already discovered, is a resounding, “no!”)

Harder still is when I approach the “real food” area of the grocery store – the cheese and yogurt section, for example -- and am inundated with even more “non-food” items. Try it yourself: Skip the nutrition label and take a peek at the ingredients. Do you even know what that crap is? I’m sorry, but is it really what you want to feed your family? What I’m thinking is “no way.” And after the recent beef recall, aren’t we all feeling a bit wary about that meat we buy at the store?

That said, if you see me out and about, I know darn well that one of these days you’ll catch me pouring the toxin of diet pepsi straight down my gullet. I’m trying, but there’s just no way I can give it up all the way. These things take time. If I’m giving up Triscuits, I’ve got to hang on to diet pepsi a little longer.

I’m also hoping that Michael Pollen writes the follow-up book called, How to Cope When Your Child Leaves Home and Binges on Doritos and Sprite. Not to mention all of the mental trauma my kids will endure and the everlasting grudge they may hold against their “crazy” mother... Couldn’t Mr. Pollen have just kept all of this to himself??

But read it. I promise – it’s worth it.

Playground Politics

“Mom, who are you going to vote for, Mom?

My eleven-year old, Matthew, has posed this question to me repeatedly in the past few months. Now, I suppose that I should be proud that my son has taken some sort of interest in politics, but I’m pretty sure it’s just related to bragging on the playground. At any rate, when I was growing up, my father’s answer to that same question (posed to “Dad”, of course), was “Why, are you taking a survey?” In other words, “It’s my vote. Butt out.” Being raised when I was (dark ages), it actually never occurred to me to push my father for more. And, sadly, my gut reaction to my son was the same. “I don’t really share who I vote for, honey.”

But being raised when he is (foolish-parenting era), my son feels free to push back at every opportunity. And I must admit, that after being pressed, I am seriously considering recanting my position. As I thought this through, it occurred to me telling my son who I plan to vote for, and – gasp – even discussing the pros and cons (as I see them) of each candidate, may be one of the best ways to engage my son in the world of politics. And isn’t that what we want – for our kids to engage, to learn, to understand what it means to have a vote? It’s taken me most of my life to figure out what I think about these issues – why not give him a head start? Now, don’t you wish you knew who I had in mind, too? -Kirsetin

PS (Yes, I know Romney is out of the race. You try finding a photo of Huckabee with the other three!)

Raising kids, Cooking meals, and Driving carpools..

Do you ever wake up and ask yourself... "where's the excitement and adventure?"  Do you ever get sick of doing the daily duties of motherhood - the cleaning, the cooking, the homework, the never-ending laundry?  As much as I love being a mom, I think it's important to step out of the routine once in awhile and do something exciting.  Excitement is different for different people. For one person, it might be kayaking down a river, for another it might be running a marathon and for another a day in the salon is just perfect.  

I know that overall Contentment is key.  No matter what our circumstances we need to be content and joyful, but that isn't always easy, and sometimes it's just simply fun to spice things up!  What will  you do to spice things up this year?  Will you try something new, like snowboarding?  Will you decide to serve at church or in your community?  What will you do to spice up your marriage?  Will you plan date nights regularly?  Will you do something to improve your appearance?  What about challenging your mind? Will you join a book club or a Bible study?  It's your life, what will you do to make it more exciting?

Walk into my life...

"Kids, it's 7am, get moving!  Here's a grapefruit for you, hurry up.  We need to get in the car soon.  Do you have your homework in your backpacks?  Let's go!"  

We get in the car and head to school, saying a quick prayer before they jump out of the car and run in.  The car is silent, and the next several hours are mine.  Now, my options are open.  I, of course, have several things that I have to do(chores, errands, etc..), but what else?  I'm sure I can squeeze in one new thing... what will it be?  I only have until 2:35pm.  I have to take the opportunity....

Today, I'm going to..... sign up for a snowboarding lesson!  

Some of you still have little ones at home, so use those naptimes wisely and you can also do some fun things.... maybe it's painting a room, maybe it's reading a good novel, maybe it's scrapbooking and maybe it's calling a babysitter and planning a date night with your husband! Whatever it is... go for it!

   

Ahhhh, Snow Days

Snow. For those of us who live in the northern states, this can be a beautiful time of year. The snow blankets the grass, glistens in the sun, and tree branches droop heavily under the weight of the pretty white stuff.

Of course, with snow comes the occasional snow day - celebrated by northern children everywhere. With errands planned and lunch dates made – or, the boss waiting in the corner office – what do we do with snow days? Most working moms have some sort of back-up plan, if only because this has happened before. You won’t get through a winter up here without having school called off for at least one day. For the moms who stay home (whether it’s because we do or because that is our back-up plan) snow days can be fun, disastrous, or some of both.

Here’s how to make the best of it:

1. Acceptance is key. Realize from the get-go that your day as you initially planned it is over. O-V-E-R.

2. Come up with Plan B. Letting the day dissolve into a mess of unplanned “fun” is a slippery slope. What seems like a good idea at 8AM, will guarantee ringside seats to the slugfest that will happen at approximately 10:42AM. Make a plan.

3. Be prepared to deviate from your great Plan B. The important thing is to have a general idea of the day will look like: sledding, snowman building, hot cocoa, TV time, book time, snacks, etc. But if you’re kids are totally into sledding, you’d be nuts to stop the fun in order to move the Plan forward. Let them play but use your super-powers to anticipate when fun is about to deteriorate into mayhem. Then announce the switch.

4. Forget about broccoli today. Snow days call for a little relaxation....and if you are the Rule Enforcer all day long, you will not be relaxed. Bring out the Oreos and kick back.

5. Go a little crazy. Try to think of something your kids will enjoy that’s not on your usual docket. Jump in the sled with them, rather than watching. Invite friends over for an inside picnic, complete with ice cream. Have storytime in sleeping bags. Whatever floats your boat. A change of pace will do you all some good when you’re stuck at home for eight or more hours!

6. Imagine life 15 years from now. Staying home for a snow day can feel overwhelming – everyone needs you, all day long. But in fifteen years, we’ll be lucky if our kids need us at all. We’ll have plenty of personal time then. And if we’re really lucky, our kids might even admit that they still need us just a little.

Enjoy the snow! -Kirsetin

P.S. Yes, that is my 12-year old lab, Tucker, enjoying our most recent snow day.

Over the River and Through the Traffic-Filled Freeways

Ah, holiday travel. It brings out the best in us, doesn’t it? I mean, when your kids are taunting each other and creating havoc in the backseat, don’t you always slow down and let the next guy merge in front of you? If not, take heart. There will be plenty of chances to repent this holiday season!

Because my husband and I have always lived far away (10 hours+) from family, my kids are used to being awakened in the dark, wee hours and put into the car with a pillow and blanket. A such, here are my tips for successful travel with little ones:

1. Lower your expectations. If you expect perfect harmony, you are setting yourself up for frustration. Even the best laid plans go awry. Know this going in and you’ll be more likely to gracefully deal with mishaps.
2. Be prepared. The Scouts got it right with this motto. You can’t get into the car with your luggage and purse and expect the kids to enjoy the scenery. Bring age-appropriate games & toys. I’d suggest buying one small new toy (or book) for each child, along with a bevy of favorites. Pack a backpack of fun they can dig through along the way.
3. Act like a camel: pack plenty of food and water. When my kids were in diapers, I brought lots of snacks for desperate moments and we stopped for meals. (An Oreo can buy you several minutes of peace.) Once they were potty trained, I found out that food and water means stopping – again - for the bathroom. Now we pack enough food (snacks, sandwiches, fruit), so we can keep driving until someone NEEDS to stop.
4. Plan on at least 3 extra bathroom stops. Nope, not for the kids. It’s all that darn Starbucks.
5. Books on tape. Okay, I realize this sounds like the dark ages to all of you video-in-the-minivan types. But give it a chance. There are some great books on tape (Ralph S. Mouse, Ramona the Great) that everyone can enjoy and they help kids use their imagination, too. Imagine, the picture isn’t right there in front of them! If your kids are old enough, you can even listen to Harry Potter.
6. Songs on tape. Yikes. I hardly ever do this, but you really good moms out there might engage the kids with a little Raffi. I’d rather play I Spy for the eight-millionth time, but, hey, to each his own. If you can bear it, your kids will love you for it.
7. Stock up on stickers. If your kids are old enough to use stickers, you can keep them amused for quite some time simply by giving them 1000 stickers to paste in a notebook. For older kids, buy workbooks, travel game books, or print out the License Plate game from the Internet. Washable markers are a good thing.
8. Remember that this, too, shall pass. One day, you’ll look back on travel with your tykes with fondness. It won’t be long before they’re tweens in their own iPod-driven world.

The Hip Mom's Guide to Money Responsibility, Part 2

Kids and money. It’s tricky, isn’t it? We want our children to learn to handle money, but we’re afraid to relinquish the reins. What if they spend it all on candy? What if they spend it all the first day? Or we struggle with know how much to give or how often. Should we pay weekly or monthly? Should we tie money to chores? Do they have to buy their own tennis shoes? Doesn’t somebody know the rules? If these are questions you’ve wrestled with, I highly recommend Mary Hunt’s book, Debt-Proof Your Kids. She knows the rules! With wit and humor, Mary walks you through when, how much, and most importantly, why your kids need to learn to handle money. It’s a good reminder for us as parents, too, that money doesn’t grow on trees and there’s no reason for our kids to think it does. Happy reading!

The Hip Mom's Guide to Snacking, Part 2

Aaaahhh, snack-time. When my children were toddlers, it seemed so easy: I ran the show. Twice a day, mid-morning and mid-afternoon, they went into the high chair & got some assortment of fruit and cheese, or maybe some yogurt. They ate what they wanted and we moved on with our day. They didn’t know anything different. And then came pre-school. My first son, Matthew, came home so excited, describing for me the awesome snack they’d had. “It was round, Mom, and kind of crunchy, but kind of soft in the middle. And it was orange.” Orange? After a few minutes of the guessing game, I discovered that, yes, that close-cousin of Cheetos--cheese balls--had entered my son’s world. Sadly, snack-time was changed forever. No longer excited by apples and cheddar, he craved oreos and goldfish. My sweet boy, who once dined on Earth’s Best organic baby food, was now a Frito-Lay fan. I admit that I vacillated for awhile. After all, no one wants to be the mom who never has “good” snacks, right? We don’t want the neighborhood kids running away when we offer broccoli and dip. I couldn’t go all the way to the junk-side, though, so I settled for a compromise. While the kids’ “official” snack might be kiwi and peaches, they’re likely to be served with a cookie on the side. - Kirsetin Morello

The Hip Mom's Guide to Television, Part 2

Before I had kids, I thought that if I ever stayed home with children, we'd have leisurely mornings and watch TV together - back then it was all Barney... I probably thought we'd bake cookies afterwards, too. Of course, you can tell that I hadn't had kids yet! I don't know a mother with infants or toddlers who would ever describe her mornings as leisurely. Mine certainly weren't. Another thing that changed after I became a mom was the whole 'TV in the morning' idea. When my first son turned 1, he got a video for his birthday. I was amazed at how he would sit there, entranced by the noisy, colorful box. I thought about all of the things I could accomplish without worrying about what he'd get into. I could get a shower, start dinner, read a magazine! But it wasn't long before his sitting there, staring - was he breathing? - started to bother me. Still, it took a few years before I decided that TV wasn't our best option. Packer games, yes. The Olympics, of course. Even American Idol made the cut last season. But based on experience and research, my kids don't have any regularly daily programming. Sure, they've seen Spongebob and Animal Planet, they just don't watch them on a regular basis. So here's my question for you: Does less TV appeal to you? Do you wish your kids watched less than they do? If not, then you're probably using TV in the way you want to - the way that works best for your family. But if this whole conversation makes you a little uncomfortable, maybe you're up for some change. If less TV sounds enticing but impossible, start small. What is just one thing can you cut? Moms who have done it, share your parenting wisdom and give us some tips. What works for you? -Kirsetin Morello