Friday Haiku: A Faithful Pup

You ate food so fast,

When you were a tiny pup.

Now you pick and choose.

You jumped in the air,

Chased every Frisbee and ball,

You lived to play hard.

You’re slowing down now.

Still as faithful as ever,

The boys love you so.

How Being A Mean Mom Fosters Friendship

When you have 18+ 12-year old boys coming to your house for a pizza party & movie night, you need to think a few things through before they arrive.

So I did.

I thought about the weather. I thought about how we were doomed if it rained, and I spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about how on earth I would entertain a million 12-year old boys inside for 4 endless hours.

I thought about the friendships. With a group that large, there are bound to be smaller groups of closer friends. I thought hard about how to make sure everyone was included without looming over the party treating them like they were 4-year olds.

I thought about food. Everything I don’t buy during the rest of the year was included: Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, Doritos of every flavor, orange soda, grape soda…the list of poisons was endless. One boy actually requested an apple. An apple! I would’ve given him ten, or ten dollars, but he was happy with one Granny Smith apple. God bless him.

I thought about a lot of things, but I didn’t think of everything. I forgot about their phones.

One friend came early to help us get ready. He was here for about 4 minutes, when I realized my error. He’d already sent 4 text messages, and had looked at his phone more often that he’d looked at any of us. And you know what? He’s not my son, so if that’s okay with his mom and dad at his house, more power to them. He’s a nice kid & I’m glad he’s friends with my son. But I can add.

And I can multiply. And there was no way I was having 18 cell phones whipped out every other second so kids could converse with someone other than the 17 friends standing right next to them.

In that moment, I decided to make the announcement.

After the boys had all arrived, and before they took off to start the best two-hand touch football game I’ve seen for quite some time, I gathered them for the news.

“Boys,” I said sweetly, “Welcome to our house. I forgot to let you all know that this is a CELL PHONE FREE PARTY. You can call or text your mom or dad, of course, but otherwise, I’d prefer if you left your phones alone during the party.”

Deep breath.

“Okay."

"Sure."

"That’s fine.”

And one by one, they put them back into their pockets without a second thought.

Except for one boy. The one with the ear buds still dangling. He dared to challenge, but I held my ground. After all, you never have to accept an invitation to our house, but if you do, you gotta follow our rules.

I’m mean like that.

The 4 hours flew by, the rain held off until we started the movie, and no one else complained about the phones. I loved watching the boys with their silly jokes and their wild behavior and their hearty laughter. I loved that they were fully present, not half there, not distracted by something funnier or cooler or much more important than the event at hand. I loved watching them connect with one another.

And to that end--to helping kids foster-friendships, live in the present, and enjoy the life that's right there in front of them--to that end, I’ll be a meany any day.

My Favorite Flip Flops

I can't be sure, but I suspect it was my southern upbringing that completely ruined me for shoes.  I'd rather not wear them.  Yes, that's right.  I still don't want to wear them, Mom. I understand that I'm a grown-up, that I'm a responsible mother of 3, but I'd prefer to be barefoot any day of the week.  Since that's not entirely socially acceptable, my next choice is sandals, my casual fave being flip-flops, of course.

Since the season of open toes is finally upon us, I thought I'd share some of my faves.

El numero uno, the #1 best flip-flop EVA, the one I that I absolutely love--and the one that carries an absolutely ridiculous pricetag--is the timeless Jack Roger.  I have eked years of wear out of a black monogrammed pair like the one above, and this snazzy pink pair.  I will almost always accept your summer party invitation if I can come barefoot or in my Jack Rogers.

Other days, when I'm heading for the pool or beach, I like something more casual.  But fun.  Always fun.  It's summertime, so forget about function.

How about these cuties, from LL Bean for only $19.95?

I defy anyone to tell me that pink flip flops with green lobsters don't rock.  La-la-la, I can't hear you.  I loooove these.

Or check out these starfish sweeties from J. Crew for a sweet $26.50.

And we can't forget our faithful friend Target, who comes through for us with the most reasonably priced flip flops in the world.  At $9.99, they're practically FREE!   

So there you have it.  A few fun choices with about a million more I'd post if I had time.  Here's a hint:  pink, green, blue, red, whales, lobsters, plaids and monograms:  I'll take a pair, thanks. 

But I'd still rather be barefoot.

So That’s What Friends Are For

There are so many things I treasure about my close friends that it’s hard to name just a few.  Women around the world know this, I think.  They understand that time spent with girlfriends has an un-nameable quality.  There's something we can’t quite put our manicured fingers on.  (I know, I know, mine aren’t manicured, but most of theirs are!)  These elements are nearly univeral.  Laughter.  Wine.  Honesty.  Wine.  Soul Bearing Conversation.  Light-Hearted Companionship.  Understanding.  Wine.  Affirmation.  Assurance that we are definitely right and that other person is definitely wrong.  And, we look fine.  Skinny even.  With good hair.  Whatever it is that happens there, when girlfriends gather, it touches our souls. 

Men, on the other hand, well, I can’t really speak to that.  My husband is never, ever going to give a lengthy discourse about bromance and the importance of manly friendships; nor will he mention the touching of souls; it's very safe to say he won't ever publish any kind of touchy-feely men’s book.  He loves his friends.  I know this.  But he’s never gonna say it.

As a sort-of related aside, I recently listened to someone, very unlike my husband, pitch a book idea to an editor.  Both the author and editor were men – and the conversation went something like this: 

“So, what I’m thinking is this.  I’m thinking that as men we need to get in touch with our feminine side.  We’ve really lost the ability to share deeply with one another in a really real way.

“Oh, right, I’m with you.  Sounds like a good idea.  Tell me more.”

“Well, my book will address how we men fail each other regularly because we don’t open ourselves up to those woman-like feelings and share them with each other.”

“That sounds like a great concept.  I’d like to see more.”

Huh?  Seriously.  This really happened.  And I sat there thinking, “What?  What?”  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m all for men sharing feelings and sending flowers, and possibly even buying me a convertible one day, but that?  That’s a great book idea?  Lord give me strength.  Help me persevere through the wilderness, the impossible-to-understand world that is publishing.  Amen.

Okay, back to the story.

Although my husband won’t be writing a book like that anytime soon, or ever, he does have a close-knit group of friends.  Some of these guys gave up their weekend—time they could've spent with their families, or golfing, or taking a really long nap—to repair a leak in the roof of our carriage house.  In the beginning, it was a leaking, rotting, termite-filled hazard.

And then they did this.

And this.

 And now it looks like this.

 Without ever saying a word about feelings or authenticity or the importance of sharing, these guys stepped up and said it all. 

Fred, Brent, Brad & Kurt:  Thank you.  I'll say it on my husband's behalf:  You guys ROCK!

I Thought I Could Live A Lot Of Places. Here, Wasn't One Of Them

When I was younger and more naïve, when I was attending college in the Northeast and considering how I’d make my way in the world, and when I was much more certain about how things ought to be done, I often said this to my friends:  “I could live a lot of places.  I’d live on either coast, or even in Texas.  I just wouldn’t want to live in the middle.  I mean, why would you?”

You can all pause now, and have a nice, hearty laugh at my expense.

To read more about what's happened since I left Connecticut, San Francisco, and Seattle--and to see a photo of me from those young and naïve days--click on over to Midwest Parents for the full story.

How to Entertain 11-year Old Boys (and Survive)

Step 1:  Pray for sunshine.  

photo credit: Deigosaurius Rex

Step 2: Buy plenty of snacks, like carrots, of course.

3.  Add some football.

4.  And some soccer.

5.  Throw in a little baseball for good measure.

6.  Order LOTS of pizza.

7. Include a game of foosball.

8.  Don't forget the big screen.

9.  Top it off with a movie.

10. Then send them all home.

Wordless Wednesday: Which Ones Are The Wild Animals?

More Wordless Wednesday here and here.

Keep Your Marriage Interesting: 5 Ways to Surprise Him!

If you consider the element of surprise strictly the stuff of fiction novels and blockbuster movies, think again.  Surprise isn’t just for John Grisham and Tom Cruise.  It can brighten up a regular old marriage, too.  

See my post at Blissfully Wed today, and discover 5 ways to keep married life interesting!

photo credit: leezi5

What I Got From My Mom

On Mother’s Day, you’d think I’d be telling you what I got for my mom, not from my mom.  But I’ve always been a little selfish that way.  Despite realizing that it’s not all about me, sometimes I still think it is.

When the Parent Bloggers Network asked us what traits we received from our mothers, I got out my pencil and started writing.  Well, okay, honestly I didn’t.  Instead, I sat down to type, but that doesn’t have quite the same ring, does it?

A few gifts from my mother:

• Compassion for the downtrodden
  
• Compassion for the elderly
  
• People skills: “Look them in the eye and say hello”
  
• Tenacity
  
• A deep love for the ocean
  
• A hearty laugh
  
• Bravery in new situations, even if it’s occasionally false bravado
  
• Good posture
  
• Table manners
  
• “This is she,” not "This is her"
  
• Skeptism
  
• Authenticity
  
• Love
  

Thanks, Mom.

Happy Mother’s Day!

This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network's Blog Blast, sponsored this week by Johnson's.

Should Kids Hit with Sticks?

At our house, we're used to soccer, football, tennis, and even track.  We own enough cleats to open a store:  The Dirty Used-Cleats Store, I think we'd call it.  But this year, for the first time, one of our boys is trying something new.

He had to give up running track this year to give lacrosse a try, and he was a bit hesitant to do so.  He deemed the first few practices "okay."  Then came the wettest, muddiest day ever.  It poured all day, and that afternoon the boys practiced right through it.  But that's not all.  When my son came home that day, I asked him how practice went.  "Today was the BEST day," he said.  "We got to HIT, with STICKS."

And there, folks, you have it.  My son's analysis of the best day of practice comes down to this:  hitting is awesome.

I'm not sure I have anything to add to that!

Wordless Wednesday: Breathe

For more Wordless Wednesday, click here and here.

Now That Was A Long Day

My day today:

• Wake up at 4:30AM
• Arrive at Seatac airport
• Pay $15 to check one bag
• Ordered to remove 6 pounds from luggage or pay additional $90
• Angrily remove hardcover library books and copies of my book proposal from bag
• Want to yell at someone
• Buy hot chocolate at Seattle’s Best instead
• Call husband to gripe about 6 extra pounds in my laptop bag
• Return call to son’s school:  all  good
• Boarding plane full of germs; trying not to be unreasonable about it
• Wondered when I’d ever get food today
• Offered peanuts on the plane.
• Eat them, greedily
• 40 minute layover; buy sandwich from Einstein Bagel
• Eat bagel sandwich on tiniest plane ever; feel very messy
• Home!
• Husband to airport
• Boy 1 to soccer
• Boy 2 to soccer
• Pick one boy up, then the other
• Showers
• Basketball game for me
• Whew, it’s almost done

I can't wait to go to sleep!

We've Come A Long Way, Baby

I recently perused an old journal from my college days.  There's absolutely no reason to share much of that drivel here.  I'm trying to decide if it's even worth keeping.  Do I really want my children and grandchildren to read this stuff one day?

However, I will share this, which fell out of the journal when I opened it:

That's the boy I fell in love with, all those years ago.

So much has happened in between.  He liked Patty.  I liked Tom.  Formals, Vienna, the Army, Texas, Palm Springs, and Seattle.  I got a job, he got a job, we moved to Green Bay.  We got a dog.  We had a baby.  He became my new job.  New friends, old friends, another baby, another move, still not back east.  New friends, old friends, starting a new company.  Bahamas, St. Thomas, Great Britain, Yellowstone, San Francisco, San Diego, Orcas Island, Italy.  Lots of travel.  Lots of laughs.  A few tears.  More love every year.

Happy 17th Anniversary to us!

Trying to Remain Calm about the Swine Flu

* Saturday update:  The test from my son's school was negative.  Hurray for now!  AND the school has been sanitized.  Double hurray!

Last Monday, President Obama told the nation his administration was keeping their eye on the swine flu situation.  He continued, saying, "But it is not a cause for alarm."

Okay.  I'm not an alarmist.  I can go with that.

On Wednesday, my youngest son's school announced that they were cancelling school for all students on Thursday.  Another kindergardener had tested positive for Influenza A that afternoon--probably not the swine flu, but they had to send the culture out for further testing to be sure.

As a parent, I tried to remain calm.  I appreciate that the school wants to put kids' safety first, and that they're going the "better safe than sorry" route.  They'll be spending Thursday completely sanitizing the school.

But as a parent, my mind also made those jumps.  You know the ones.  The cough that won't quit.  The too-fast ride on the scooter.  The ocean, deep and strong.  It's the what-ifs that get us, isn't it?

As I Googled away, I ran across this recent article in the Washington Post, and this article on CNN.com, which I decided to share with you.  They provide us with a fairly good summary of what's happening and what to watch out for.  I decided to share these here not to incite alarm--quite the opposite.  At the very least we can arm ourselves with facts, instead of rumors.

Keep washing your hands, friends.  This whole thing is making me a little nervous.

*Footnote update:  My son's school decided to close today, also, until they get positive confirmation on the flu strain.  

Colleges Dump the Cafeteria Tray

Huh.  So they're doing away with the cafeteria tray.

I'm trying to imagine it.  As a mother, and former waitress, I have an amazing ability to carry it all in one trip:  load me up with several plates, cups, napkins, and a plate of hot wings, no problem.  

But as a college kid, I hadn't been a waitress yet.  I couldn't even carry the tray with one hand - I had the double grip going, one firmly on each side.  

Now I find out that if only I hadn't used the tray, I'd have kept my svelte high school figure and staved off the freshman 15.  It wasn't the all-night, any-night kegs in the fraternities. 

It wasn't the seconds on any (or every) dessert in the cafeteria.

It definitely wasn't eating pizza at midnight several nights a week.  

Nope, it was the tray.

It's all right here, in yesterday's NY Times article. 

Hmmm....  So what's my excuse, now?

photo credit:  Kamal H., Mike Morrow, Ned Raggett, la_mala1 & Pathfinder Linden