10 Rainy Day Activities for Kids

So it’s gray and rainy today.  It was gray and rainy yesterday.  And it’s supposed to be gray and rainy tomorrow.  Ahhh, spring.

Needless to say, we’re going a bit stir crazy here in the house-of-boys.  You can only last so long outside in the rain.  At least 2 of my 3 boys can read chapter books in a cozy chair on days like this.  I love that.  My youngest?  Not so much.  And I remember the days, very recently, when all three of them were standing there, looking up at me with those big expectations, asking, “What's next, Mom.”

My opinion?  The best way to survive these days with a smile in your face is to throw in the towel.  Yes, that’s right.  My great parenting nugget for the day is….drumroll please…throw in the towel.  Fine words of wisdom, don’t you think?  What I mean by this, really, is that a rainy day is a day for us to forget our Very Important List of Things to Do, get down on the floor with our kids, and remember what it’s like to simply play.

Rainy Day Activities:

1. Make a Fort.  The old stand-by is as good as ever.  Kids in every state and every town love nothing better than building an Awesome Fort out of couch pillows, blankets, and sheets.  But the real giddiness kicks in when they see that mom is actually going to join them in the Fort.  The smiles you’ll receive are worth every single thing you didn’t get done today that you will absolutely pay for tomorrow.

2. Break out the Perler Beads.  As I’ve mentioned before, Perler Beads are a fantastic activity for kids to do on their own.  But they’re fun to work on together, too.  Your kids can create beautiful designs to give to Grandma and Grandpa for the upcoming Mother’s and Father’s Day celebrations.  After you’ve ironed their masterpiece, simply stick a magnet strip on the back & your gift is ready to go.

3. Break the Rules.  No running in the house?  No hiding in the pantry?  Take a half an hour today, ditch the rules, and play indoor hide-and-seek.  That thing that breaks?  It’s just part of the deal.  Plan on it, and it won’t seem so tragic.

4. Break Bread Together, on the floor, of course.  Another ageless old-timer, the picnic-on-the-living-room-floor is a sure crowd pleaser.  Feed the baby first and have your picnic with the older kids during naptime.  (Babies tend to be a little messy for the living room.)  I have a huge piece of canvas fabric that we put down to spare the carpet.  The kids shriek with joy when I pull it out.  The mayhem that ensues, in anticipation of peanut butter and jelly not to be eaten at the table, is a bit unbelievable.

5. Rediscover Rubber Ducky.  On a rainy day (no, not one with lightening), the bathtub can serve as a small pool.  Don’t worry about the clean-factor.  This bathtime is just for fun.  Bubbles, toys, bath paints, splashing:  it’s all included.  The bonus?  You don’t have to get in…you’re just the lifeguard for this one.

6. Special Box of Toys.  What?  You don’t have one?  Oh, you gotta get one!  All the cool kids have 'em.  Okay, here’s the deal: our children have too many toys.  Can we agree on this one?  We buy, our parents buy, our friends buy.  Too much buying.  When I realized our windows were on the verge of popping out because of all the excess, I just wanted to chuck it.  Goodwill, here we come.  But my friend intervened.  “Buy a large plastic bin,” she suggested.  “Fill it with lots of these toys, then put it away for a rainy day.  When the rainy day comes, pull out the bin.  The kids will be so excited to play with these “special” toys.”  Hmmm…  And she was right.  Thank you, friend!  Goodwill still received a fat donation (way too many toys), but the Special Box creates some Special Fun on rainy days.

7. Make a Movie.  These are some of my most treasured keepsakes, and I didn’t have a thing to do with them.  My husband, bless his heart, spends hours with the boys creating movies.  They've “gone” to Africa, flown into outer space, and even fought aliens.  I watch these movies and I can’t believe how little they once were!  Those voices!  I promise you, moms, their voices will change, their annunciation will improve, and to be able to hear them, to see them in action at those tiny little ages, is a precious gift.  The movies are a bit of a pain to make, with props and all, and they’re definitely time consuming.  In other words, it’s the perfect activity for an otherwise boring, rainy day.

8. Make Play-Doh.  Play-Doh is such a kid-pleaser, but no one likes it when they peel off the lid and instead of easy to mold clay-like material, they find the hard, gross substance formerly known as Play Doh.  My neighbor, Pam, gave me a recipe about 8 years ago (see below) and this stuff lasts forever.  It’s kind of weird how long it lasts, actually.  Sometimes it gets a little sticky – just add a touch more flour, and you’re ready to shape and mold.

9. Or, Make Dough Figures.  During the holidays, my kids make something for their teacher’s, grandparents, and other lucky souls.  One of the things they’ve created is dough ornaments.  (Yep, I like the oldies.  What gave it away?)  This dough is easy to work with – just don’t over bake it!  If you’re feeling extra crafty, the kids can paint their designs once they’re dry.

10. Keep a Few Tricks Up Your Sleeve. Under no circumstances, no matter how gray and rainy it is, are you, the parent, to use all of these tricks in the same day.  Pace yourself, people.  Pick a few, and maybe a back-up, and go for it.  Trying to make play-doh, build a fort, and have a living-room picnic on the same day is just asking for trouble.  There's always tomorrow. 
    

Homemade Play-Doh Recipe:

2 c flour 2 c water

1 c salt 2 T oil

4 t cream of tartar food coloring

(This makes a ton.  Sometimes I just make half.)

Mix all ingredients in a saucepan.  Cook for 2-3 minutes, stirring constantly.  Stir in food coloring.  Remove from heat.  Put mixture onto waxed paper and knead.  Add extra flour, if sticky.

 

Dough Figures/Ornaments Recipe

1 c salt 1 c water

2 c flour food coloring (optional)

 Mix salt and flour, then add water a little at a time.  If you’re using food coloring, separate dough into different bowls, add color, and mix.  Knead for 7-10 minutes until dough is putty-like.

Create people, animals, or other figures with dough.  For ornaments, roll dough to ¼” thick (I go a little thicker).  Use cookie cutters for basic shapes, like snowflakes, Christmas balls, or snowmen. 

Bake on cookies sheet at 325 until very light brown.

Enjoy the rain.  Happy spring!

Oh, Where Is My Hairbrush?*

A place for everything and everything in its place.

It sounds so sensible, doesn’t it?  And it is.  It is!  Having a place for everything—a defined place, makes it easier not only to put things away, but to find them, too.

Ah, if only we could find the time to create those magical places.

I have been extremely successful with this philosophy in some areas, and embarrassingly poor at it in others.

The Ones That Have Worked:

1. Eyeglasses.  I didn’t wear glasses until I was 25, so I never had to worry about misplacing them as a kid.  As an adult, however, I searched for them on a regular basis.  It was my father who suggested creating a “spot” in each room.  If I took them off in that room, I should put them in that spot.  Then, I would only have to check the designated spots, rather than digging through drawers and handbags at all hours.  Brilliant!  This suggestion has worked like a charm, and nowadays if I can’t find my glasses, I’m probably wearing them.
2. Purse.  After several scrambling, panicked moments of “where could I have left it?,” I chose a hook near the entryway to keep my purse and, astonishingly, I manage to put it there 95% of the time.  The other 5%?  I never claimed I was striving for perfection.
3. Shoes.  In a sensible scenario, finding shoes would not be a problem.  And really, it’s not finding a pair of shoes that’s difficult, it’s finding the pair of shoes.  Which, essentially, means I have too many shoes. 
4. Camera.  When we first went digital, we were constantly tossing that tiny camera in our coat pocket or a purse or just carrying it outside for a quick snapshot.  No film!  No strings!  But who knew where to find it later?  Camera-hunting was the basis of many an argument.  “Well, you had it last.  I’m sure.”  We finally designated a cabinet to store camera-related equipment only.  The videocamera, extra tapes, batteries, and the actual camera can all be found in there.  Almost always.

The Ones I Haven’t Figured Out Yet

1. House Phone.  Now this seems silly, doesn’t it?  I mean, there is an OBVIOUS place you can put the phone.  Somehow, though, ours never seems to be there.  Perhaps it’s the price of freedom.  No longer tethered to the machine, as I was for all of my talkative youth, I wander aimlessly around, multi-tasking at it’s worst, while jabbering away with my friends.  When I’m finished chatting, I simply set the phone down.  And when I need it again, the hunt is on.  Now where did I put that thing…?
2. Cell Phone.  See #1.  I try, I really try, to put this in its “spot.”  I think it might have feet.
3. Credit Card.  Okay, sure, this should be in my wallet.  But when I need to run into a store quickly, I don’t want to be all heavy laden with my big old mom purse.  Who needs all that?  I just grab a credit card, a little cash, and my Driver’s License.  I stuff them into my pocket, and then…oh, which pocket was it?
4. Checkbook.  Hmmm.  Despite the fact that there is a clearly designated place in our desk drawer, I can never, ever find the darned checkbook.  As I’m typing this, I’m wondering why 2 of the 4 items I can’t find on a regular basis are related to money.  Perhaps I should be one of those cash-only people.  Or would I lose the envelopes?  Highly likely, I’d say.

So how about you?  Am I alone on this one?  Are there some things you can always find and some that elude you on a regular basis?  Any tips from you uber-organizers out there?  Love to hear them.

*This title is borrowed from an old Veggie Tale song.  

Ten Years Later

Yesterday was an anniversary.  

It wasn't the anniversary of my wedding, or the day I found out I was pregnant.  Nothing like that.

Instead, it was the 10-year anniversary of the day my husband quit his job and, along with two friends, created a company.   My first son was 2 1/2.  My second was only two months old. 

It was a leap of faith to do this thing, to create a new entity, to rely on ourselves, with no "real" company to support us.  It was exciting, and it was scary.

We have marveled through the years at how this idea, these notes they had on pieces of paper, became real.  In the beginning, they worked in our homes, then moved onto Kinko's.  Their first office space was a rented conference room in a large law firm.  We can laugh at that, now.

Over the years their business grew.  They quickly rented their own office space.  They outgrew that building and found a new home.  They outgrew that one, too.  They created jobs.  They supplied services.  They even made Inc. Magazine's list of the 500 fastest growing small companies in America.

It's been an up-and-down ride, this creating of a business.  But today, in a time when our country's economy is faltering and our state is hemorrhaging jobs, the company he and his friends started employs over 100 people.  The idea that families are fed because of the idea they conceived amazes me.  It hasn't been an easy road.  I admire all of them.  I'm proud of them.  And I'm thankful that they've persevered.  Very thankful.  

Happy Anniversary!

I'm Cheering for You Nic Sheff.

                          Nic,

I don’t even know you and you’re breaking my heart.  I’m not your mother, or your friend, or your mother’s friend.  I don’t live in the same town or the same state; I didn’t go to the same schools; I don’t have any experience with drug addiction.  We’re not even close in age – you weren’t born until the year I started high school.  There’s really no reason for  me to feel connected to you, other than the fact that I have sons.  But I do.  I do feel connected.  And my heart is breaking, all over again.

- Me

About a year ago, I read David Sheff’s book, beautiful boy.  In it, he describes the joy he and his wife felt at having their son.

“We are among the first generation of self-conscious parents.  Before us, people had kids.  We parent.  We seek out the best for our children – the best stroller and car seat recommended by Consumer Reports – and fret over every decision about their toys, diapers, clothes, meals, medicine, teething rings, inoculations, and just about everything else.”

He goes on to describe Nic as a toddler:

“Nic is a natural architect and builder, constructing sprawling block, Duplo, and Lego Lilliputs…He scoots around the house on a big-wheeled tricycle and, on the red-brick front patio, in a plastic sky-blue convertible, a gift from my parents, which he powers like a Flintstones car with high-top sneakered feet.”

David Sheff describes reading books to his son over and over again – so often that he memorizes them.  He describes a trip to Yosemite and playing board games, and all of the other parent-child interactions we fit into our lives, all of those things, big and little, that we do to help our children grow up into strong and secure adults.

Except Nic didn’t.

David Sheff continues:

“I tried everything I could to prevent my son’s fall into meth addiction.  It would have been no easier to have seen him strung out on heroin or cocaine, but as every parent of a meth addict comes to learn, this drug has a unique, horrific quality…Nic claimed that he was searching for meth his entire life.  ‘When I tried it for the first time,’ he said, ‘that was that’.”

As you can imagine, I am sobbing before I get through Chapter 1.  Sheff does a beautiful job of describing his beautiful boy, and in his description, I see not only Nic, but all boys.  I break down in a river of tears, thinking of all of the life and energy and love I have poured into my own three boys.  I am reading the now blurry words and wondering if this could happen to one of my sweet babies, too.

Nic Sheff got clean, for awhile, and also wrote a book, in which he tells the story from his point of view.  I read Tweak shortly after I finished beautiful boy.  In Tweak, Nic describes a childhood spent careening towards addiction, starting with this incident when he was a year younger than my oldest son.

“When I was eleven my family went snowboarding up in Tahoe, and a friend and I snuck into the liquor cabinet after dinner. We poured a little bit from each bottle into a glass, filling it almost three-quarters of the way with the different-colored, sweet-smelling liquid. I was curious to know what it felt like to get good and proper drunk. The taste was awful. My friend drank a little bit and stopped, unable to take anymore. The thing was, I couldn't stop.

I drank some and then I just had to drink more until the whole glass was drained empty. I'm not sure why. Something was driving me that I couldn't identify and still don't comprehend.”

He goes on to vividly describe his fall into the dark underbelly of San Francisco, a city I love like no other.  Listening to him struggle, listening to him describe the pain, and ecstasy, of his experience—his life—with such raw emotion, made me weep all over again.

Long after I turned their final pages, these books have stayed with me, haunted me, almost.  I have thought about David and Nic and their lives and their struggles; I’ve thought about the whys and the hows and the what ifs; I’ve thought about choices and genetics and fate; I’ve wondered if he’ll ever really be clean.

And today I read this.  Nic relapsed last May, and again in December.  These are not, by far, his first two, or his worst two, relapses.  But the news is discouraging and disheartening.  Still.  Still relapsing.  The whys re-emerge, they grab me and force me to look at my boys with fresh eyes.  I am vigilant, fighting for my boys, watching and praying and hoping that they remain unscathed by this horrific mess called meth.

And I’m still cheering for you Nic.  Still cheering.

My Top 6 Reasons to Travel With Kids

Travelling with children is almost never easy and, needless to say, is an entirely different experience from travelling without them.  Although the latter can be perfectly lovely, and peacefully quiet, there are certain advantages to packing the bags and heading out as a family.  Here, I offer my top 6 reasons to include your kids on your next vacation:

1.  A book or photograph can never give your kids the sense of place or understanding that actually being there gives them.

2.  Every parent ought to test the limits of their patience on an 8-hour flight or car ride sometime.  Come on, isn't that one of the bonuses to parenting:  learning how very deep you can dig when you really need to?

3.  The forced family togetherness can create crankiness, sure.  But it can also promote brotherly bonds like no other.

4.  Peer detox.  See #3.  I'm always amazed at how well we all interact without the excess, external noise from pre-teen friends.

5.  The world is a BIG place.  Travelling to other places helps all of us understand that our small corner of the world is not the center of the universe.  It's so easy to get caught up in our schools and our sports and our social network that we don't stop to think about how this same thing is happening in towns all over the world.  Travelling gives kids a better perspective of how it all fits together.

6.  When a child knows he can look at a map and find his way around Rome, he's less likely to be daunted by the little bumps and bruises of life.

Of course there are innumerable other benefits, many of which aren't measurable, aren't tangible resume-building benefits.  But I contend that travel will build the resume of the spirit and the soul.  It will promote empathy and understanding.  It will boost the desire to reach across the border--whether it's a border between school districts, or board rooms, or cultures.  And the desire and ability to reach across those divides? That's life changing stuff.  Surely it's worth a few hassles in the car or on the airplane now, isn't it?

How to Build Your Own Lockers

So lots of people want to know about the lockers.  How did we do it?  Are we master craftsman?

No, we’re not.  We’re so far from it, well, you know.  We’re just not.

But we don’t shy away from a little hard work, either, and that’s what this took.  Also, we have a friend who loves woodworking.  That comes in handy.

So here’s how it went:

1. Hate hallway closet.  Bi-fold doors never close.
2. Covet lockers in friends’ houses.
   
3. Get quote from builder:  about $1200
   
4. No way!
   
5. We could do this.  Could we do this?
   
6. Google lots of lockers.  Draw design we like.
   
7. Tell our workworker friend about it.  He offers to cut wood.
   
8. We measure.
   
9. We measure again.
10. Our friend cuts.
    
11. I sand and paint.  And stain.  And polyurethane.
    
12. We nail it all in.  This takes much longer than expected.  Like ALL home projects.
    
13. We stand back and admire our handiwork.
    
14. Total cost:  around $250.
    

Sweet!

Wordless Wednesday: From Ugly Closets to Sweet New Lockers

See more Wordless Wednesday here and here.

Were You Here Last Monday?

If you were, you know I posted about either:

1)  Feeling Alone in Marriage  or  2) Holding Your Tongue

To read what I think about the other one, check out my post today at Blissfully Wed.

Moms! Here are the Top 50 Most Popular Text Terms

LOL    ILY    JK    NP    WYWH

If your children are little, perhaps you are young enough to be a professional texter yourself.

Although mine are a bit older (although my youngest is still young!), I text often  enough to annoy everyone.  This isn't my fault, though.  It's more of a genetic thing, because my mother was texting before I was, so it was pretty much inevitable.

However, I was with a few of my ladies who lunch the other day, and one of them asked about texting.  And twitter.  She didn't know much about either one.  Since I'm well acquainted with both, they all think I'm nuts, naturally.

Still, it got me thinking.  These women have kids.  With phones!  And without getting into the myriad issues that brings up, let's just say that as parents I think we have a responsibility to know what the heck our kids are saying on their phones.  And I don't mean when they're speaking.

That said, I found this handy reference for the Top 50 Most Popular Text Terms, by Erin Jansen.  These are 50 of the most popular, and therefore fairly tame.  If you want to know more--including lots of sexual references--pop on over and check out the site.  There are several other lists that you may find, well, revealing.

Afterwards, let's all go check our kids' phones.  

This Boy Loves His Dog

See more Wordless Wednesday here and here.

How to Get Your Kids to Stop Asking if They Can Watch TV

“Mom, can I watch a show?”

“Not right now, honey.”

“Okay.”

“Mom, can I watch a show now?”

Arrgghh!

When my first son was 3, this very conversation played out day after day in our home.  As you probably know by now, I’m not a big fan of turning on the Plug in Drug while my kids are awake.  (But you bet it’s on for The Office!)  Still, I didn’t want to create some sort of weird craving in my kids by never turning it on.  What to do?

The very first thing for all of us to do, I think, is to figure out where we stand.  Sometimes, as parents, our answers are wishy-washy because our resolve is wishy-washy.  If we “sort of” think we don’t want them to watch too much TV but we also really need half an hour to ourselves, it’s easy to toss the ideals and grab the remote.

But, if we articulate—for ourselves and our kids—how we feel, if we define our stance and understand the why behind our reasoning, suddenly we are rock solid.  And parents, rock solid is where we want to be.  Wishy-washy is for the birds!

I truly believe kids function better with structure (especially if that structure includes a couple of hours of unstructured play), so when my children were young I tried to plan all sorts of regular activities.  Not paid activities, like gymnastics class, mind you, but free activities, like going to the playground, or taking a walk around the lake, or visiting a book store.  (Yeah, that last one did end up costing a pretty penny…so, sort of free, but in the end, not so free.)  Sometimes we also had a paid activity on the calendar (like the aforementioned gymnastics class), but I think its important for kids to have activities where they aren’t being led.  How will they learn to explore, lead, wonder, if they don’t have time to simply wander? 

Okay, back to the TV thing.

I went to Staples and bought one of those huge desk calendars, like my grandfather used to have on his old wooden desk.  Because my son couldn’t read yet, I drew pictures of his daily activities.  One day, I drew a slide and some swings.  (Yep, playground.)  On two of the days, I drew a little schoolhouse.  (Uh huh.  Pre-school.)  And every Friday, I drew a picture of the TV.  On Friday afternoons he could choose any ½ hour video we had and chill out with Bob and Larry or Dora or Blues Clues (back when it was Steve!). 

Outcome:

• Helped him learn the days of the week
  
• Helped him understand planning and time
  
• Helped me organize our activities at the beginning of the week
  
• And the BEST:  If the “When can I watch…” question started, we only had to walk over to the calendar to count the days until Friday.
  

Two kids and MANY calendars later, I can attest that this works like a charm.  Now run on over to Staples.  Calendars are probably 80% off by now!

Is it About Being Alone in Marriage or About Holding Our Tongues?

I always have something to say about something.  You must know that by now, right?

Wonder what I'm saying about marriage today?  Pop on over to Blissfully Wed to find out!  (I'll write about the other topic next Monday...)

Haiku Friday: Spring

put away the skis

the snow and ice have melted

daffodils peek through

Photo credit:  foxypar4   .  See other Haikus for this week, here.

How to Catch a Confirmed Batchelor...

See more Wordless Wednesday here and here.

I Will Be Here

A few, short years ago I was living in San Francisco, engaged to the man I loved, and intent on climbing the corporate ladder.  Okay, the only part of that information that’s germane to this post is the fact that I was engaged, but I just like to include the rest for history’s sake. 

Among the many choices we made as we planned our wedding was which song to have sung during the ceremony.  Turns out, the one we chose was a timeless window into some of the commitment that marriage brings.  See my post over at Blissfully Wed to read more.

 

Teenage Girls Defend Chris Brown

Say it isn’t so!

Although I’d heard some talk about teenage girls defending Chris Brown, I didn’t pay much attention until I read Jan Hoffman’s article in the NY Times last Friday (Teenage Girls Stand By Their Man). 

Here are some of the most disturbing quotes I read:

“She probably made him mad for him to react like that,” the other ninth grader said. “You know, like, bring it on?”

“She probably feels bad that it was her fault, so she took him back.”

"Her friend nodded. "I don’t think he’ll hit her like that again,” she said."

“During a presentation about dating violence to ninth graders at Hostos-Lincoln Academy this week, one girl said, “If they hit you, smack them back. Both my parents say that to me.”

“Yeah, men hit women, and women hit men. It was blown out of proportion because they’re celebrities.”

Really?  This is what girls are saying?

Somebody help me.  This, I cannot understand.

photo credit:  joeltelling