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In the spirit of lightening things up around here (for today, at least), I give you Dad Gone Mad. When I got to the end of this post last Thursday, I laughed out loud. Since I knew I'd be hitting you with Tramp Stamp Barbie on Friday I decided to link to this funny, funny man on Saturday.
So Barbie turned 50 and got herself a tatt. If this isn't causing a stir among moms, what is?
"Remember when you thought Weird Al was so great?""Uh, huh. Yeah," as he glances sideways at me, wondering where I'm going with this."You downloaded all those songs, and we even went to that concert?"Laughing now, "Yeah, I remember. So what?""Well, what if you had gotten a big tattoo that said 'Weird Al Rocks.' How would you feel about that now?"
So when I say, “I’ve decided to stop watching the economic reports on the news,” it’s a bit misleading. I don’t really watch the news anyway. I can’t remember the last time I saw the 6:00 news (do they still have that?) and, since my Kindergartener leaves the house at 7:15AM a couple of days a week, I’ve taken to missing the 11:00 broadcast, too.
Think I’m missing out? Don’t fret. I get the news, just not on TV. I am, admittedly, a bit of a NY Times junkie. Perhaps you knew that because of this or this or this. No? Okay, well, I admit it.
What does all of this have to do with the economy, Chris Brown and Rihanna, and Conan? To find out, check out my post at Midwest Parents today. You'll laugh at the end, I promise.
photo credit: cursedthing
I have been a reader for as long as I can remember, and I’m sorry to say that I do, indeed, remember the Dick and Jane books. Okay, sure, I must have been on the tail end of that era, but still. Do you remember them? Didn’t think so.
In honor of March being Reading Month, and despite of how I feel about choosing one day or one month to honor something we ought to give attention to every day of the year, I thought I’d share some of my favorite picks for books to read with your kids. These are primarily books for elementary schools children, with the possible exception of Harry Potter (although my kids loved them in elementary school.) That said, my older boys (10 and 12) still enjoy listening when I read these to their 6-year old brother. Some books, however easy to read, are timeless.
My Top Ten Picks
The Magic Tree House Series (Mary Pope Osborne). These aren’t what I would consider timeless or great literature, but my kids love them. I like that Jack and Annie go on adventures that teach my kids a few facts, keep them engaged, and create a strong desire to find out what happens next. My only complaint is that she’s partial to incomplete sentences, like “Absolutely still.” It’s got great rhythm, but I watched both of my older kids emulate her style when they began writing in school. It’s hard to explain, “That’s not a complete sentence,” when they’ve been reading that style for years. Still, good adventures, lots of facts, encourages kids to read: can’t complain.
The A to Z Mysteries (Ron Roy). This series follows three young friends who solve mysteries in small town America. As my kids listen, they try to solve the mystery before Dink, Josh, and Ruth Rose do. My middle son was more taken with these than with the Magic Tree House books, so we read them all, starting with The Absent Author…
The Cricket In Times Square (George Selden). I fell into this book as a child and didn’t want to emerge. I loved the characters and the excitement and the description of far away, exotic New York City. I loved that the author took me there, right along with Tucker Mouse and Harry Cat. I read this aloud to my kids a couple of summers ago. It’s one of those timeless books that works for younger and older kids alike. I didn’t mind re-reading it, either. Selden's related book, Tucker’s Countryside, is also worth a look.
The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett). As a fourth grader, I started this book and didn’t make it past the first chapter. Everyone was dying of cholera. B-o-r-i-n-g. I picked it up three more times before I forced myself to go onto Chapter 2. And then I couldn’t put it down. I’ve read and re-read this book to myself at least ten times, and now I’m reading it with my kids, too.
Eloise (Kay Thompson). The original. She’s one of a kind, living life and learning from it. What’s not to like? Easy to read and re-read.
Oliva (Ian Falconer). I love this pig. In fact, she reminds me a bit of Eloise. This is one of those books I am willing to read night after night, and I rarely tire of it. When I do, we go for Olivia Helps With Christmas or Olivia...and the Missing Toy. Really, you can’t miss with these books.
Auntie Claus (Elise Primavera). My sister-in-law bought this for one of my boys years ago, and it quickly became a household favorite. Because of the obvious theme, we usually read it a million times in December, and a few times throughout the rest of the year. Funny, quirky, well done. I like it.
Half Magic (Edward Eager). This is another one of those books I loved as a child and brought into the lives of my own kids. I read it aloud to all of them, and the older two have re-read it many times since. In it, four siblings find an old coin, which turns out to be a magic charm. Their adventures and Eager’s writing are fantastic. Run out and get this one.
Harry Potter--entire series (J. K. Rowling). Do I even need to make a comment here? If so, I guess it’s this: I read the first book merely as a parental preview. I wanted to be sure the themes were appropriate for my son, at his age and stage in life. I couldn’t turn the pages fast enough. Like so many others, I pre-ordered and went to book release parties, and debated what would happen next. Would good triumph over evil? Did she sell over 400 million copies?
The Magician’s Nephew (C.S. Lewis). This is the first book in the popular Chronicles of Narnia series, but it’s far less hyped than its sequel, The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. The Magician’s Nephew lays the groundwork for all that’s to follow, and has long been one of my favorites. Even if your kids have already seen the new movies, this one is worth a read. If they like it, go for the series. These are great books.
So, March, April, May...in every month, on any day, choose one. Choose two. Read 'em all to your kids: satisfaction (almost) guaranteed.
Do you or your kids have a favorite that I missed? Please add it to the comments, so we can check it out!
Spring is nearly upon us (or is, for you lucky southerners), so how about keeping the spring in your marital step with one of these fun dates:
Did you like my post last Friday?
Living away from where we grew up means many things, from the occasional cultural gap with our friends to traveling for holidays to talking to Grandma and Grandpa using a webcam and SKYPE. Still, our parents are as hands-on with our kids as they can be from 10 and 12 hours away. (See mine in the photo, taking my kids into DC. Good sports! Brave souls!) They visit often, try to make it out for different sports seasons, and are (mostly) happy to chip in and babysit when my husband and I need to get out of Dodge for awhile.
One of the few advantages, I suppose, to living this far away is that we don’t have to deal with either of these situations:
Both of these scenarios are addressed in Joanne Kaufman’s article yesterday, in the NYTimes, When Grandma Can’t Be Bothered. But, clearly, the article focuses on Scenario A, calling these women “glam-mas.” In the article, Kaufman quotes writer Catherine Conners’ mother:
“I raised two children whom I love dearly, “ she said. “I was a stay-at-home mom. Then I discovered when I started my own career that there was a whole other world out there.”
I think this is interesting for two reasons:
1) Grandma Conners is unapologetic for her stance. She loves her kids, she loves her grandkids, but she’s been there and done that. Enough said.
2) Don’t we all want our children to find their own way? Isn’t that what Grandma Conners has done? Is this all bad?
I wonder if there isn’t a happy medium here. I mean, of course we know there is, but does it exist in the real world? Do your parents or in-laws live nearby? Do you find yourself fitting tidily into Scenario A or B above? If not, how have you managed it? Did you have to set parameters? Did your healthy relationship evolve naturally? If you had one piece of advice for new parents with nearby grandparents, what would it be?
This morning, you won't find me at home. Nope. Not gonna be here.
Break out the children’s books, people, because today—March 2, the birthday of the beloved Dr. Seuss—is the day for the National Education Association’s Read Across America. Never heard of it before? Me either. Apparently, as a reader, a writer, and a parent, I’ve had my head in the sand because this celebration has been going on since 1998. Where in the heck have I been? Oh, sorry, I’ve been kind of busy. I’ve been reading to my kids.
Okay, okay, maybe that was uncalled for. (I do know that March is Reading Month. Does that count for something? Anything? Come on, I haven’t been totally clueless.)
Here’s the idea behind Read Across America: The NEA would like “every child to be reading in the company of a caring adult” on this day.
Pro: Reading with a child is a great idea. Fantastic. Totally support it. Kudos NEA!
Con: One day? Seriously? One day isn’t going to motivate the kids to love reading. Sorry guys, it just isn’t.
Perhaps I’ve been watching a little too much Idol. It feels like I’m channeling Simon with my bad attitude. And, please, please, please understand that I fully support reading to kids. I understand that the idea here is to generate some excitement. It’s like a pep rally for reading. I get that.
But does it really work that way? When you have a pep rally for football, you don’t have to know a single thing about the game. I am fairly certain that I made it all the way through high school and college, attending plenty of pep rallies and football games, without ever knowing, exactly, what it is that a Tight End does. In fact, I'm quite sure I was much more concerned with the tight end on our high school quarterback than I was with anything else in the game. Enough said.
But to get excited about reading takes time. It’s not the same thing at all. Learning to read comes slowly for most kids, over time, after seeing lots and lots of letters strung together on a page, again and again and again. It can be hard work. But when we read to them, regularly, those words take our kids places. They take them on adventures, they help them solve mysteries, they make them laugh. It’s not the reading itself that’s exciting, it’s the story. Reading is simply the means to the end. And, given enough time and practice, our kids will pore over the pages and put the words together. They'll take themselves to these enchanted places.
So go ahead and Read Across America. It’s a good start, and, like many programs, it’s well intentioned. But if you really want to help those other kids—the ones who aren’t being read to on a regular basis—you’ve got to up the ante. Would you consider volunteering at their schools? They could use you. Really use you. Last year, I spent one Tuesday every month in a 2nd grade classroom at a school my children will never attend. I worked with one child at a time, listening, encouraging, and reading. At my own children’s school, parents line up to help. If you want to volunteer, they’re glad to have you, but you’ll have to take your turn. At this other school, only 15 miles west of ours, it’s an entirely different world. They could use us every day, not just on March 2nd.
photo credits: mikefats and zawezome
So you guys know that I like Diet Pepsi, even though I think Michael Pollan is right on the money. You know that vegetables are my least favorite food group, even though I know they should be first. You know that I think a lot about ways to help my kids have a healthy relationship with food.
But what you don’t know is that my friend, Janet, knows the exact calorie and fat count of every food ever produced. Okay, that might be a teensy, beensy bit of exaggeration, but if I’m not sure about something food-related, she’s on my speed dial. (Also for any fashion questions, but that's a post for another time.)
So when Janet said she learned stuff she didn’t know when she read Eat This, Not That, I couldn’t believe it! She learned stuff? I knew I had to get my hands on that book. What could it possible contain that she didn’t know? So I popped on over to the library and took a look. And chock-full of information, it is. I must admit that there are some interesting tidbits, like the fact that one Original Glazed doughnut from Krispy Kreme has less fat (11 grams) and less calories (190) than one Wild Blueberry muffin by Otis Spunkmeyer (22 grams, 420 calories). Who knew?!
All in all, I’m not a big fan of the book but I can certainly see the appeal. It’s a very practical guide for middle-of-the-store grocery shoppers. But most weeks I try to avoid both Krispy Kreme and Otis Spunkmeyer—those are some fat grams I’d rather save for a rainy day.
By far, the grossest part of the book was page 6, which took me right back to high school English class, the one where we read Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle. Perhaps I’m naïve, but I left all of those disgusting thoughts about food processing back in the 80’s and I was very disturbed to find them resurrected by the little chart called “The Wrong Kind of Protein; The little ‘bonus’ ingredients the FDA allows in your food.” Here’s a sample:
“Canned tomatoes: Can contain up to 5 fly eggs or 2 maggots per 500 grams.”
Maggots? Do I really need to say more?
“Peanut Butter: Can contain up to 30 insect framents or 1 rodent hair per 100 grams.”
30 insect fragments??
“Popcorn: Can contain up to 1 rodent pellet in one sample or 2 rodent hairs per pound.”
A rodent pellet? IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS??
Alright, Mr. President. As long as you’re overhauling everything else, what about the FDA? As if the peanut recall weren’t bad enough, now I have to worry about rat crap in my popcorn? Puh-lease!
This is the best argument ever for participating in CSAs and buying local. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to enjoy canned tomatoes again. Uggh. Please, please don't tell me what you know about Diet Pepsi. Let a girl enjoy her vice in ignorance, would you?
Enjoy the weekend everybody. And for goodness sakes, be wary of your popcorn!
photo credits: asplosh
Sometimes, life throws you a curve ball. When it happens to you as a single person, you deal with it in your own way. We all have different coping mechanisms, right? Some of us tuck into our shell and quietly contemplate for hours, days, or weeks. Some of us call everyone we know, and hash out all of the gory details, over and over again, until we can finally make sense of them. But what happens when you add a spouse to the mix and your coping mechanisms are entirely different?
See the rest of my thoughts on this over at Blissfully Domestic (aka Wedded Bliss) today.
As a young mom, there were days I was desperate for a little me-time. All right, fine. As an older mom, there are still days I’m desperate for a little me-time.
But as one of those peculiar moms who recoils at the thought of turning on “kids” TV, I didn’t have an easy out. How on earth could I get a shower, cook dinner or take a deep breath without Backyardigans to the rescue?
It took some time, but I eventually figured it out. Kids can entertain themselves. It just takes a little work at the front end. But it is so worth it when you finally get to take that breath. Ahhhh!
For the Littlest Tykes try these…
Hands-on manipulatives go a long way with this group.
These are just a few my boys really liked. There are tons of things kids can play with—even your Tupperware or Rubbermaid. If they can stack it, fit it together, or bang it loudly, it has a good chance of success.
As they get bigger…
* Brio or Thomas trainsWhen they won’t eat beads anymore…
Admittedly, you won’t get much of a breath to begin with. Set your expectations low, to start. I began by sitting with my kids while they played with their toys. But (for once) I didn't participate. For just a few minutes, they managed on their own. After awhile, they got used to figuring things out for themselves, and I eased out of the picture. Now, if you're thinking I grabbed 30 minutes to myself, you need to re-evaluate, friend. Slow. Start slow. It's all about your expectations!
In the beginning, the time I got to myself was short - 10 minutes, at best. But if you can grab 10 minutes to start dinner, you’re still ahead of the game. In time, 10 will grow to 20. By the time my kids were 3, they could entertain themselves in their rooms for an hour. An hour! Not only is this arrangement good for you, it’s good for them. Independent play time fosters creativity. Life doesn't always throw you something new when you're bored, does it? No, sometimes we have to make our own fun with what we have. That’s a good lesson to learn at any age, wouldn’t you agree?
Dear Neat and Tidy Friend,
Congratulations! I hear you are considering adopting a puppy. Fantastic idea! Who doesn’t want a cute little bundle of fur take on walks, cuddle with, and love unconditionally?
The unconditional part is important, you see, because this puppy will change your life. You know this already, right? People have told you about the night waking and the many walks, they’ve told you about how you’ll have to re-arrange your schedule and save bundles of money for vet bills. But what about the fur? Have they mentioned the fur? Or, more specifically, the shedding of the fur?
Oh, right, you’re going to keep him outside in a dog run. Good plan. My Aunt Elaine had that plan, too, until her sweet little Gypsy got sick. She came in to get well and never left. Dogs are smart that way. People are the foolish ones. That fancy dog run became a lawn ornament and trellis for beans or raspberries or some such thing. It sure didn’t see Gypsy again.
And when your puppy joins the household, it won’t be long before you sit down to a lovely dinner and find a stray dog hair in your salad. Consider yourself warned. Disgusting, you say! You are cleaner than that. You will sweep and vacuum and mop away the evidence. Yeah, okay, good luck with that.
My favorite part, really, is how dogs can sense who loves them and who would really rather see them penned up on a farm somewhere far, far away. One day, your stylish friend will show up dressed in her sleekest black pants, strutting her trim stuff all over the place. And your super-hairy, hugely-shedding yellow Labrador will be right there to greet her. In a fine example of the skills dogs have honed through the years, he will sense that she doesn’t want a single strand of that nasty dog hair anywhere near her swanky self. He will bound up to her, tongue hanging, tail wagging, hair flying everywhere, just to show her who’s in charge.
Dogs are the smart ones, I’m telling you.
Have fun with your new puppy.
With much love,
From your friend with the extremely friendly, unbelievably hairy 13-year old Labrador
This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network's blog blast. It's sponsored this week by SC Johnson, who's introducing the Pledge Fabric Sweeper for Pet Hair. And as any dog owner will attest, this is an idea who's time has come!
SC Johnson to introduce the Pledge™ Fabric Sweeper for Pet Hair.
So why are we here? Not here, online, on blogs, making friends with women we may never actually see, but why are we here, here. Here on this earth. In this world. Why are we part of our particular family? The community around us? Why are we friends with our particular friends and mothers to our particular children?
